If I really loved myself, I would…

I came across an old journal entry that didn’t sound much like me, but it was written by me…

I recently cracked open one of the many journals I have stashed around the house (anyone else? no…just me? OK.) And that’s how my journal entry began on March 6, 2019. Following that ope- ended statement is this list:

  • Quit my job
  • workout more and enjoy my birthday (which, base on yesterday’s post, we all know I didn’t.)
  • find what makes me happy
  • try new things
  • challenge myself

What’s crazy, is that I’ve accomplished just about every single one of these things on my list, and that was just a few months ago.

As I sat there staring at the words on the page, they read like someone else. Someone I didn’t recognize. Someone I didn’t want to be. But they were my words, and I can still vividly remember how I felt writing them.

I felt angry. I felt scared. I felt confused. I felt unconfident.

Now? As I sit here and reflect on those words in the journal, I can honestly say that that’s not me anymore. And…if I had to make a new list based on where I am today and the current head space I’m in, it’d probably look something like this:

  • Learn new strategies for client engagement
  • Be booked solid with projects for the rest of the year (6 months or so)
  • Be creative with my approach and my writing
  • Spend more time with family

You see, the air is clearer for me now. I’m finally doing something that makes me really happy! I’m finally taking the time to develop those skills that I’ve always wanted to have, and I’m finally enoying the process.

So, if you’re list looks more like the first one, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate where you’re at. Because trust me, things will get a whole lot more uncomfortable if you don’t, and you’ll end up miserable and defeated.

While I’m far from where I want to be, I recognize that I’m the one in control of that and it’s all about what I put into this. If I half-a** this, then I won’t get much out, but if I continue to learn new skills and practice those skills and then monetize those skills, well then I’ll be unstoppable.

And isn’t that kind of the goal?

But if you’re list looks like the second one…full of ambition and goals and life… Then you’re well on your way to getting to where you want to be in this world.

Isn’t it refreshing?

While I don’t have all the answers for you and I’m not quite sure how to make this work smoothly yet, I will promise you that you’re not alone! It’s easy to feel that way in today’s world, but know that there are others out there just like you. You just have to be willing to find those that encourage you, believe in you and trust you.

That’s when you can take that first list, and turn it into the second list.





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